I need to blow up my free spreadbetting account; but i'm so god damn talented its impossible for me to do it on my own.

Just call a random trade, with a stop loss and a target and i'll place it.

Go! Yeahhh Yeahhh Yeahhhh

I'll go first
'Long @ Market, Sell instantly @ market'
Now that losing the spread is out the way... Lets continue.